Sunday, January 29, 2017

Define Your Dash #5: Qualities I Admire in my Friends

What qualities do I admire most in my friends? Well this question gave me pause and I had to reflect on the friends that have had throughout my life. Looking back I have had three types of really good friends. Givers, takers, and a combination. I imagine I have also been one of these three types to those same people.
Givers are exactly that. They give you their time, they are the ones who remember your birthday and get you something, they are always there to listen, and they don't expect anything in return. I have only had a few friends like this which I am ashamed of because that made me the taker.
Takers are the opposite and force you to be the giver. Which I am not great at and these relationships are not generally sustainable in the long run (for me).
The best type of friendship to have is one where both parties give and take. My very best friendships have been with people who I can both count on to comfort and advise me and who I know will come to me if the need counsel or comfort. They are friendships that both people are invested in. It absolutely sucks to feel like a friendship would fall apart if you stopped caring. (And I feel like this happens all the time.) It is terrible to be the one always calling and planning and inviting. Good friendships don't work like that. Both people care about the relationship enough to be involved participants rather than bystanders who will join you if cajoled.
Other qualities are important too. Commonalities between the two friends help. History is great but every friendship has to start somewhere. I like people who seem interested in my life, I feel like I am fairly good at asking questions but its nice when they seem to care as well. Remembering is key. What I mean is that it is refreshing when conversation varies and you don't have to have the same thing rehashed over and over because the person doesn't care enough to remember. I think it also important to be there regardless of the circumstances.
Now, I know this seems like a lot but the question is, what qualities to admire most in my friends, not what qualities are required for my friendship. Though it seems I have been talking about two different things.

Qualities that make a Good Friend.

  • There for you
  • Willing to give advice and comfort
  • Willing to accept advice and comfort
  • Make an effort to keep friendship going
  • Share common interests or is willing to learn about friends interests 
  • Interested in the life of friend
  • Remembers previous conversations
  • Is okay with ups and downs of life and emotions


Qualities I most admire in my friends.

  • Kindness
  • Willingness to serve
  • Willingness to listen
  • Flexibility (Being Easy Going)
  • Selflessness
  • Planning Ability
As I wrote the second list I realized that the items are what they are because they are what I am weak at. I like to associate with people who possess them so that I can learn and become better.


Sunday, January 22, 2017

Define Your Dash #4: Childhood Hobbies

As a young kid I remember being outside all the time. I spent a lot of time at the Conder's house in their backyard and riding my bike around the neighborhood (or into trees and poles). One time I played hide and seek with my mom so well she thought I was kidnapped or something (that is not as funny to me now as it used to be).
When I got a little bit older I liked to go to the movies with my neighborhood friends. I think there was a span of several years (late elementary early middle school) where we went to the dollar theater almost every weekend.
In the middle of middle school I really enjoyed reading. I remember my mom asking one of my teachers if the amount I read was normal. She assured her I was fine.
Later I really started liking Frisbee. Mainly because this cute boy I liked played it all the time. Nevertheless, I got fairly good at it and convinced a lot of my friends to meet me most Saturdays and play (including said cute boy) at Sandy Elementary. (As a side not this tactic really worked out for my love life.)
Art has also been a hobby on and off throughout my life, I even gave it a go in college. I have never been particularly awesome at it but I have always found it soothing and enjoy the time I spend doing it. I like to experiment with most mediums but I wouldn't say I am a master of any particular one.
I love anything creative and hope to someday be proficient in writing, graphic design, and photography.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Define your Dash #3: Grandparents (Love Stories)

Do you know the story of how your grandparents met and fell in love? 


  • I want to preface this by saying these entries are short and the way I remember them being told. If you have more information or know I am telling them wrong please let me know.
  • My Dad's parents, Gary and Gerrie, met at a church dance in San Francisco while my Grandpa was on shore leave (he was in the navy). My Grandma was the only active member of her family and when they got married, they went to the San Diego Temple with my Grandpa's parents where she went through the initiatories and endowments for the first time before getting married, she also happened to be on a deaf session and thought she need to memorize all the hand signals. After that, it took her a while to go back to the temple because it was such a confusing experience for her. Right after they were married they drove to Salt Lake where they settled down. I asked her why they came to Salt Lake instead of staying in California and she told me that that was just where Gary drove them too (that answer was once she had dementia).
  • My Mom's parents, Reed and Donna, were set up on a blind date that neither of them wanted to go on. My Grandpa happened to be the one who answered the phone when the person who was looking for a date for my Grandma called. And that was pretty much that.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Define Your Dash #2: Transport

Question: What are all the modes of transport you have used?

Car/Van/Truck

  • Orange Vega: I don't remember much except that we had an orange car when I was little and it had a hole in it.
  • Van: grey, black, sea green, red . . .my parents got a van when I was a kid and have been trading them out ever since.
    • Bangkok to Phichit
    • Phichit to Myanmar
    • All over Bangkok
  • Death mobile: little blue Toyota that I learned to drive stick in.
  • Caucasia: my first car gold 1997 Toyota Corolla
  • Truck: We bought a truck right after Link was born and I don't know if I can go back. Red Ford f150
    • Bangkok right out of the airport no seat belt sat on the shift stick. . .
  • Taxi: Bangkok, Phuket, and Pataya

On Water
  • Canoe: at girls camp in Cedar City, in The Floating Market in Bangkok, and in a lagoon in the Phi Phi Islands 
  • Ferry: down the Chao Phraya River in Bangkok and from Phuket to the Phi Phi Islands
  • Double Decker Tourist Boat: Around the Phi Phi Islands
  • Longtail Boat: Around the Phi Phi Islands
  • Duckie: Down the Colorado River
  • Paddleboat: Lake Havasu
Airplane
  • SLC to Pheonix multiple times
  • SLC to Disneyland (Choir Tour)
  • SLC to LA (on the way to Thailand)
  • LA to Taiwan
  • Tiawan to Bangkok
  • Bangkok to Cambodia
Train
  • Sleeper train Phichit to Bangkok. I started with the bottom bunk but Alisha came down to talk to me and fell asleep in my bed so I had to sleep in the top. . .
  • Trax: rode it for a field trip when it was first built, then to college and work for over two years
  • Super crowded train from Phichit to Phitsanoluk each Sunday for church (church took us eight hours in Thailand)
  • Freezing Train: literally so cold it gave us all runny noses
Other
  • Motorcycle: in Phichit to the local Kodak store
  • Tuk Tuk: all over Chang Mai and Siem Reap
  • Camel: in a Zoo in Pheonix
  • Horse: My moms cousins farm
  • Elephant: Up a mountain in Chang Mai to see the Long Neck Women
  • Zipline: Camp and Olympic Park in Park City
  • Bicycle: all over Utah, lot of the Jordan River Trail, Phichit, and Chicago
  • Feet: everywhere else

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Define Your Dash #1: 2017 Goals

This year I am going to try and write down part of my dash each week for 52 stories. This is one of the challenges on the LDS website and one of my personal goals. The church also provided a list of guiding questions which I am going to try and use when possible. I know it is the third week in January but I am going to start with number one because it is important to me.

Question: What goals do you hope to achieve this year?

Goals are so important to me. Each year of my marriage Nick and I have sat down one of the first family nights of the year and written out our goals. I then tape them to my dresser right next to my bed so that I can see them every morning when I wake up and every night before I pass out. We create goals in categories, together than individually. Throughout the year I check them off because I reread them so often. Some goals are more personal than others but this is kind of what our goal sheet looks like.


Goals 2017



Spiritual
Together
  • Family Nights and Family Councils each Monday
  • Study the Marriage and Family Relations on Saturdays and Sundays
  • Study the Book of Mormon with the BYU videos Monday-Friday

Nick



Whitney

  • Study Christ everywhere
  • Read all of the Sunday School and Relief Society lessons before church
  • Read D&C and study it
  • Go to RS activities when possible
  • Fulfill all callings to the best of my ability
  • Keep up personal blog (journal)


Personal
Nick





Whitney
  • Participate in more service opportunities
  • Start some kind of play group in the ward
  • Hike Mt Olympus
  • Make new friends
  • Obtain life insurance and verify a will


Family


  • Do all Fun Pass Activities
  • Date at least once a month (2 x is better)
  • Go camping down south and other places
  • One Family Activity a week (pass, hiking, dinner, etc.)


Physical
Together
  • Diet together, help each other make better eating choices.
  • Fewer treats, buy healthier food
Nick

Whitney
  • Eat in moderation

  • Exercise 3x weekly



House
  • Finish laundry room
  • Fix the bathtub
  • Baby Proof


Financial
  • Invest 401k

  • Stick to the budget (log purchases in goodbudget)


Vocational
Nick


Whitney


  • Learn more about graphic design and photography via lynda and the library
  • Look into taking a class at SLCC with Americorps money

On my copy all of this is filled in, and Nick does have goals I just didn't think I should put his on the interwebs. Hopefully having it out there creates more accountability.